Exposing Our Zero Maintenance Culture – Written by Josh M. Bassey

The last time I repainted my apartment, I had issues with the painter when I insisted he fill up the cracks by the door hinges before painting them. He said it didn’t matter, as that part will be covered by the curtain. I insisted it did matter. Fill before painting it. He grudgingly did.

You see, our shabby attitude to details stares us in the face at every turn: a generator repairer will un-screw five bolts but end up screwing in four, insisting the fifth isn’t necessary, as if the manufacturers were high on cheap weed when they screwed in five; someone will switch on the socket to charge their phone, but care less to switch it off when they un-plug the phone. They just couldn’t be bothered. Again, why?
And until we start taking these tiny bits of details seriously in this parts, it would be harder looking at the bigger picture.

We have a big problem in this country, one that has to do with a lack of attention to detail. You see a palatial residence in Lekki, only to get inside and discover the painter did a shabby work of the painting; the carpenter left half of the door hinges sticking out; the plumber patched up parts of the plumbing work, leaving parts dripping with water and effluent; and the tiler lacked symmetry in the layout of the tiles.
We couldn’t be bothered, after all it doesn’t matter. If it ain’t broke, nobody should bother fixing it, right? Let it be.

Being a perfectionist, I often times watch foreign movies not because I’m a movie buff, but because I love to see their attention to tiny bits of details: the decor in the sitting room, kitchen and toilet; the visual aesthetics that imbue their living spaces; flowers vases, sculptures, lampshades on all corners to improve both interior illumination and aesthetics, ornate ornaments, picture frames adorning dressers, and all sorts of decorative objects.

A typical “bigman” here, once he’s done with constructing the house, he’s done with everything. Furniture and electronics are thrown in haphazardly without symmetry or coordination; a chair here, a badly hung frame there. One central bulb or chandelier overhead. No soft or mood lighting anywhere. Why bother?
Even the jacuzzi in the bathroom will only work for few weeks or months before you start seeing a bucket kept on standby, the toilet cover flung open or even ripped off its hinges.

We have an appalling maintenance culture, and it shows in these little things we take for granted.
You lodge in a hotel, only to discover shabbiness has come to be accepted as the norm. No water heater in the bathroom, the AC is faulty and no one bothers. There’s a stain on the bedsheets, but who cares? Just manage it as it is. After all, you ain’t the first guest to lodge there. If others didn’t complain, why should you?

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FACE OF THE CAVE FOR THE WEEK (Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence)

Stunning looks of the week.
Features: Racheal and Romeo.


Name: Racheal Onomakpo


State: Delta
Business: Wine dealer |CEO Rachies Drink House


Likes: Honesty


Dislikes: Arrogance


Favourite Quote: “Live your life.”


Contact: Racheal Onomakpo |Facebook

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#WhyLookBeautifulWhenYouCanLookGorgeous?


Name: Ani Ansah Romeo


Nationality: Ghanaian


Field: Database Administrator


Likes: Affection, deep conversation, honesty, Smile/laughing, weird clothes, God..


Dislikes: Drugs, rudeness, stupidity, liars, fakeness, negativity.


Favourite Quotes: Many people die at 25 and are not buried until they are 75″

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Quote For The Week
“All labour that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Broken Vows

Diary of a Husband Material

With the end of the premier league season, my Saturdays had become a breeding ground for mood swings and tantrums.

I tried to watch any show on my cable TV to keep my mind occupied but none of the programs seemed to pique my interest. I let the remote drop on the floor and soon my eyes roamed around the sitting room till they rested on my wedding picture. The 6 x 6 frame hung imposingly by the corner, intimidating every other wall hanging. I smiled sadly at me in the picture. I felt like I was on top of the world, happy that I was going to spend forever with the woman I loved. That was just a year ago. Looking back, It seemed like a year of betrayal.

As I await the first court hearing in a week’s time, how did I get here? I asked myself.

I…

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The Real Bedroom Gist Between The Wellingtons

Adesuwa: So I leave my newly wedded husband for a minute to get dressed, only for him to pick up his phone and film our bedroom.
Would it have been so hard to stay off the phone in the course of our honeymoon? No tell me Bankole, would it? I should have known we also got married to that Iphone you’re always absorbed in…
Banky: Susu, trust me, I’m really devastated. (Scratches head) But remember, I’m Mr Capable! I promise to make it up to you in every possible way, I swear honey…

Susu: Interesting! How? Make me understand, Snapchat administrator. Because you’re not the one whose bare butt found its way to the net. (Takes another glance at Gossipmill page and sobs hysterically) Seems like a nightmare! (Sighs) So much for a lavish ceremony in Capetown!
Banky: No no no babes. We’ll survive this. Come on…You’re still the sweetest girl that everybody adores, regardless of this shit…

Susu: Oh please…stop talking big head. I can imagine how nosy folks and unsolicited counsellors with jealousy issues, like Omotola, would feel better about themselves right now.
Banky: Don’t mind her…She should swallow her advice, leave IG, and go and cook for Captain Ekeinde.

Adesuwa: 😀 😀 😀 😀 But It’s not funny anyway. How do we handle this mess?
Banky: We do another loved up photo shoot in say…the Bahamas, on a private island beach…and make haters chew out their hearts.

Adesuwa: You’re sure?
Banky: Definitely susu. I got this one. Remember we are #BAAD like that!

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The Beggars Plight – Written by Owie Osarhen Joshua

My name is Aminat and I understand only a few things. I understand that I have to wear a ‘sad look’ to every figure that passes by me and that i have to hold on with a firm grip to their hems so they can bless my hands before I let go.

I hear you people call it ‘begging’. Call it what you will, I do not understand it that way. I understand that not all of these people blesses my hands. Some sight me afar on my tattered clothing and give a wide berth, some shake their heads vigorously at me when I
come close and they move on even though I cling to them like a gnat.
Some pretend not to see or hear me, some even stone me with the ‘blessing’ and then, there are some that scares me; they shout at me, they are ready to bounce and tear me apart if I so much as take a step towards their direction.

This I understand.
Sometimes, I stand in the scorching sun for hours setting the sole of my bare feet on fire. I stand in the rain and I am soaked to my skin, my teeth chatters afterwards and I shake uncontrollably like a leaf. This I also understand.
I am made to follow my withered uncle who is blind. He holds on to my shoulders with a bowl in his hands and a long stick to hold his frame. I lead him through the big city sprawled before my eyes, through market squares, through shops, through the busy streets, through alleyways, through places I can become lost and I do all these for the ‘blessing’ and I understand it.

I also understand that because i am a little girl, people give me more of the blessing, people give me a second look when I wrap my tiny hands around their big arms. Kabiru, my half-brother, says he gets less of the ‘blessing’, he says no matter how much he tries, he is often chased away, he is often given the wide berth and often ignored. He doesn’t understand it but I do.

I understand all these because of what it stands for. This ‘understanding’ gives me food; it prevents the pangs of hunger from hitting me hard. This understanding makes Baba Musa happy, he is so much excited when the blessing is plenty. On such occasions, Mother cooks elaborate and I get to munch to my satisfaction. Otherwise, Baba becomes sour and angry like an active volcano. He becomes like a roaring lion seeking to devour Mother and my older mothers and it un-nerves me. Mother cries whenever he erupts like a volcano and it makes me sad, it makes me cry too.
I feel afraid because of this ‘little’ understanding sometimes. I feel trapped for a little girl of my age. I try to understand more than this little understanding that I know but i find myself continually lost in my perplexity.

I get to see men and women attired in the nicest clothes. Their children, little girls like me are adorned like a princess. They walk majestically and wear a cocky smile that rocks me from my feet when I see them. I do not understand this.
Exotic cars shoots past me like a bullet. I see them in various colours like a rainbow. Some are small and some are gigantic and they are always beautiful. I sometimes stand before them when they pause in their tracks waiting for that man, waiting for that woman sitting regally in them to bless my small hands thrust before their eyes.

I see these things and I like them; I want them. I see these people and I want to be like them. I love the names given to these things, I love the names given to what these people do.
Kabiru would look nice in a ‘suit’. He would make a fine ‘doctor’. He has this uncanny knack for treating my small wounds and bruises whenever I get one; I often wonder how he does it.
Fatima my elder sister ‘sings’ like an ‘angel’. Her voice is so melodious that when I hear it, it calms my fears, it dries my tears and it lulls me to sleep.
Me? I want to talk to people over the ‘Radio’. I love the voice of the lady that talks to people from that black box. Kabiru said she tells the ‘news’ to people. I do not understand that but I love the confidence in her voice, the way she seems so sure of what she is saying; she sounds like someone that isn’t confused.

I want things. I love things. Kabiru probably want a whole lot more than what I want. Fatima may also do too. But I don’t ‘understand’ this. I don’t understand why I can’t have them, why these people aren’t me, why I can’t drive that exotic car I so much love.
Whenever you see me, do not frown or give me the wide berth. Do not see me as the ‘beggar girl’ you claim me to be.
Rather, see me as the little girl who understand so little. See me as a little girl that is limited by this little understanding.

This understanding may stick me here forever. I am scared of it when it crosses my mind. I do not want to end up like Mother.
Fatima would soon be like her; I often see the Strange Man that comes to visit Baba Musa, I do not like the way his eyes rests on Fatima. They seem like a patient predator bidding its time to bounce on its prey.

Kabiru is not left out. He too is to become a servant to the Strange Man; to become one of his many boys who herds his cattles. Kabiru hates him. He told me he wanted to run away when Baba Musa told him about his decisions. He doesn’t tell me about his plans to escape anymore, maybe he understands it.

You see, I fear everyday that I may never understand beyond this little understanding and that is why I cry to you.
Help me to understand so I can become like the little princesses that I see everyday. Can you help the ‘beggar girl’ as you call me?.

#Thepenwrites

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FACE OF THE CAVE FOR THE WEEK (Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence)

Stunning looks of the week.
Features: Chen and Ijeoma.


Name: Chen Emmanuel
State: Abia


Field: Civil Engineering


Likes: Everything God
Dislikes: Pride

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#WhyLookBeautifulWhenYouCanLookGorgeous?


Name: Oneafolu Ijeoma
State: Anambra


Field: Teaching


Likes: honesty, music, yam lol
Dislikes: abuse/intimidation, lies


Favourite Quote: “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”

_________________________
Quote For The Week
“We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.” – Harrison Ford

To qualify for the next Face of the cave series
*Have your profile be a clear face shot.
*Give a brief description of yourself and please make sure to include your likes, dislikes and hobbies.
*Submit them to the chatterbox team within four days from now via bbm pin- 2898fd68 or inbox Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson on Facebook.

Cheers to the new Face of the cave!

Share your thoughts on this week’s faces in the comment box.
We’d also love for you to stay in touch with us! The best way to keep up to date is to subscribe to Bismark’s Cave. You can do this by tapping the ‘follow’ option.
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What If It Doesn’t Work Out?

Diary of a Husband Material

Why do we love? Is it in search of companionship? A search for happiness? A search for a deeper connection? Or are we just afraid of being alone’?

It takes courage to say ‘I do’ to the one you love in front of watching eyes at the altar, and also to say ‘I will be your bae/boo’, in the case of a relationship, though so many of us are clouded by the chance to play a role in his/her life after listening to their hopes and dreams for the future, and the soul-searing promises.

I giggle whenever I think about my varsity days. As a hustling student who really didn’t have much savings, I’d stay awake to read, and also talk to Pelumi on MTN’s happy hours once my alarm goes off by 12:30am. We’d talk about how we longed to be in each others’ arms, and also laugh…

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