Happy weekend people!
I felt like sharing the ever controversial issue of testing before marriage because it’s a topic people have addressed from different angles. Yet it has left many folks deceived, confused and misled.
The fact that marriage is a lifetime commitment and a journey that’s meant to last for life, is the reason people always want to be sure about whom they’ll spend the rest of their lives with before signing the deal. Every nitty-gritty detail about your partner has to be known! It’s common knowledge that most folks, particularly guys insist on testing the sexual capabilities and compatibility of their female partner beforehand. On the other hand, I’ve heard stories of ladies who also insist on testing the man’s capability to know if he’s a ‘real man’ or two minute man.
It doesn’t even end with sexual compatibility test, some men carry out their own fertility test on ladies they intend marrying. This one is common with our brothers in the south east. They try to get her pregnant first, you know…*JUST TO MAKE SURE* There’s always this “fear of the unknown” so nobody really takes chances these days. People want to be sure about what they’re getting into, rather than have themselves blindfolded by love and religious views initially, only to end up discovering a problem that they didn’t bargain for within the marriage.
Nevertheless, subjecting one’s self to any form of test (sexual and fertility) isn’t the wisest thing to do before proposal. For a man who says he wants to experiment if she is fertile, Is she a Machine? Is he testing before paying for the goods? Then what’s the essence of bride price? I’m trying not to sound too religious, but let’s be realistic, it only proves the guy needs a baby making machine not a friend and companion!
Abeg, people should learn to leave things in God’s hands. For you who believes in testing sexual compatibility, i believe it’s better to find a companion whom you can love and forgive naturally. You can teach a person sex styles faster and easily in marriage than you can teach them companionship and sacrifice which is the key to a successful marriage.
Even if you want to test your partner, what you need to test for is their temperament, patience, ability to handle responsibility and ability to adapt to difficult situations. The rest comes naturally. The world wants to make us believe we can figure everything out all by ourselves, truth is, marriage is a leap of faith.
The partner you certified OK, may even fail the next day.