You look good outwardly, you’re handsome, pretty, chic, well mannered, civil..what have you! But uhhmm…Truth is, we’re all freaks in our closet! We do certain things when no one is watching and still keep up appearances. We do things that people would swear we’ll never do.
Today, I’ll expose some of our freaky lifestyles/habits.
5. Scratch and sniff:
This one is common with guys. Most guys may be itchy down south (you know where I’m talking about) and it’s worse when it happens in a public place. So what do you do? You place your hand deep inside trouser pocket, someone may mistake it for swag, but guys…we know the truth! Your fingers go down there through your trouser and soon as you locate the wahala region, nna eh.. The kain wicked scratching wey u go do eh! Even DJ Jimmy Jatt no scratch reach u sef.
Damn! The itch could be so severe and you may need to scratch your stuff for real. If you got the privacy, you take off your pants and scratch the hell out of it. After scratching you sniff your fingers to know how it smells like! Abi na lie?
4. Pick and flick:
haha! Some folks can’t help sticking their fingers in the nostrils when they’re lost in thought. It’s a bad habit. I have no idea what they intend finding inside the nose, with the way they dig with all seriousness. Abi na gold dem dey find?
When they finally bring out the juicy sticky booger from inside the nose, they roll it into a little ball and flick it! Na so the thing go fly for air kon land for anoda person body…Ewww! Freaks!
3. Gas producers:
Some people are walking gas plants. They can mess for Africa, especially naija babes. Forget their ‘forming‘ and ‘effizy‘, If you know how they fart ehh, you’ll be amazed.
The worst is, they do it silently and act like “it wasn’t me,” How do they do it? It’s either they’re seated then shifting slightly on one side of the hip and slightly raise one leg up OR they make sure their legs are well parted. Either way, they release this concentrated-silent gas that goes straight to the atmosphere at rocket speed. No one will ever know it came from a Natasha, Annabelle, Sophia or Cynthia! Guys are usually the first suspect. Naija babes I throwey salute for una.
2. Chew and spit:
As grown as we are, most of us can’t help nibbling on our fingers. Some people love chewing their nails at every chance they get. I no know whether we go call am hunger abi na long throat. Me sef I’m guilty oh, God help me!
The worst is after chewing it, they spit it out carelessly…You see some people spitting ‘pia pia pia‘ while chewing their nails. Sometimes it lands on people’s faces without them knowing.
I’m back to guys again! Some guys ehh, to wash their boxers na war. They’ll wear the same boxers for one week till the inner rubber linings turn black. Oh no..Shebi we’re in harmattan season, before some guys wash their boxers, they may have to smell it to know if it’s dirty.
TAKE NOTE: If you’re not guilty of at least ONE of these freaky habits, you’re not a human being. You should be arraigned and probed in the court of law.