What’s Wrong With Opting For Only Traditional Marriage?

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                                                                                                              Via weddingfeferity.com

Every young unmarried woman dreams of the day she’ll walk down the aisle to exchange marital vows at the altar. Donning an immaculate-white flowing gown and clutching a white rose flower and her groom by her side, both of them flanked by the bridal train. I’m sure that’s every girl’s dream.

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Imagine a situation where a man tells a Nigerian lady that he would prefer only a traditional marriage, hmm..she may take off at rocket speed and dump him for good! How dare you shatter her long built dreams? Do you know what you’re saying bros? When friends like Bimpe, Biliki and Ngozi had the best white weddings in town, you want to wed me in my village and get done with it…Abeg, Oga I no marry again! Naija ladies like white weddings so much.  Most times it’s not just about the uniqueness of wedding in the church, it’s about the pomp and ceremony.
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                                                                                                                          Via bellanaija.com
Almost everyone wants to show off in style. Hence after an unspectacular, hurried, low key traditional wedding, they go on to do the one they consider as the main wedding (white wedding) in a big way.
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The question is: Why is traditional marriage less considered by Africans?
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I’ve seen cases where, despite the couple’s financial constraints or a situation where the bride gets pregnant before marriage, situations like these that would prevent having a white wedding, Yet most couples damn the consequences and go out of their way to still have the white wedding. To them, It’s a MUST!
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                                                                                                  Via naijadivaexpress.org
Most Christians believe you’ve not truly wedded if it didn’t take place in the church.
I once heard one revered ‘mummy-in-the-Lord’ say that it is a sin for a man to sleep with his ‘wife’ if the white wedding is not done, even though the dowry has been paid. Haba! I was like, ‘that’s insane! Where e dey for bible ni, Iya Evangelist?‘  This is how they go about propagating lies under the guise of Christianity. Are we saying that our cultural marriage is not sufficient? Weren’t all the marriages recorded in the Bible done the traditional way? Not only did Jesus honor the wedding invitation at Cana, He performed by turning water into wine. The first miracle attributed to Jesus happened in a traditional wedding!
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Jesus go the wedding go ‘shayo’…E say make everybody flex…Drink as u like! So who be dis people wey wan holy pass my Jesus? Who says traditional wedding isn’t good enough?
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                                                                                                                      Via jaymuia.wordpress.com
Bikonu, Church wedding, Court wedding, Traditional wedding are legal enough to join two people as husband and wife and seal the union. If you ask me, none is lesser/greater than the other. It’s a matter of choice and perspective!

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8 comments

  1. Nice write up. I think the both are important. Traditional weddings existed before the word of God got to this part of the world. In Igbo land no matter how many court marriages or white weddings you do, you are not considered married until your bride price is paid. It is called “ime ego” in Igbo language.

    Then the full traditional marriage which is “igba Nkwu” or Ikwa Nkwu” depending on the dialect is carried out. This Ikwa Nkwu from what I have seen isn’t allowed for any girl whose mother’s Ikwa Nkwu wasn’t carried out, so if you are so interested in that then your father has to go and perform your mother’s Ikwa Nkwu or else only “Ime ego” would be done. You are actually considered married after this “ime ego” which is bride price payment. The bride is free to go live with the man. Some very religious people do not go to live with the man until after the white wedding, I really don’t know the reason behind that rationale.

    I think that white wedding is very important because your union will be blessed in the house of God, you exchange important vows in front of your family and friends and you are joined in the name of the Father the son and the Holy spirit. It makes the couple to understand the gravity of what they are getting into.

    As for girls dreaming and fantasising about wedding gowns, I really don’t know about that because I don’t fantasise about that, I know I want to wear a cute gown but I don’t have sleepless nights over that.

    Magnitude of weddings depends on the financial capacity of the intending couple and their families. If the girls family can really afford a huge trad wedding or if the guy is loaded then the trad wedding is made big, if not they do a small wedding and then decide to spend more on the white because that’s the one more people usually attend. In my own opinion both weddings are necessary. If the money isn’t there for the both weddings on different days then do the both in a day. White wedding in the morning then everyone goes to the bride’s house where reception/trad wedding takes place. It saves a lot of money. And we really don’t know if it was a white or traditional wedding that jesus attended, all we know is that he attended a wedding and performed that miracle in the wedding reception. Voila!

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  2. Well said Queen! But then, prayers are also said at traditional weddings by a priest. Blessings are given by parents and well wishers to the couples, what else? is Even the wedding certificate is issued at the LGA office…So Traditional wedding is as good as white wedding. Obviously, the wedding at cana was traditionally done according to the jewish custom/tradition. It didn’t take place in a church, so how could it have been a white one? Lol…

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  3. Well am so excited to be part.the truth is most nigerians are generally deviating from their culture(getting lost)I remember when we had men with eyes ringed in white chalk and tongues dipped in the proverbial brew of prophecy.some people like to act like the crowd….also to dance right to a trending beat…white wedding was introduced to us by the white,when we all became christians,,,but don’t forget that traditional marriage is more important that’s why its first b4 white wedding….

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  4. The white wedding is just an inposed duty by our co-colons,our culture was beautiful,we had everything right,the best way of doing things,,,,we prayed sincerely to God and he blessed our marriages,most part of the europian countries do our traditional marriage too….so let’s come back to ourselves

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  5. Reacting to the person that said Jesus didn’t go to Shayo, yes he didn’t but he made Shayo available to those who need it, signaling that Shayo doesn’t prevent you from making heaven .
    To be frank with you, I’m having serious issue with my girlfriend of 5years now because I asked her to pick from the three, that I will only honor one out of all. This year, we started having serious issue which this is one of it. Anytime I will get married, it’s either church, court or traditional, I won’t do more than one.

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