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Open Letter to Nigerian Food Makers and Caterers

I won’t say you people haven’t been trying. You are wonderful people and I respect your hustles. I admire the way you all keep making innovations in the snacks department. Today, there’s no type of snacks one can’t find in Nigerian stores. The other day, due to my craving for snacks, I bought something like a ‘fish roll buns’ abi na ‘bread buns’. Just a funny looking snack with un identifiable content.
I couldn’t put a name to it. Even the seller didn’t know what she was selling. They said it’s ‘chop-chop’. I still ate it with a bottle of coke.

You guys can fabricate and improvise for Africa. Well done. I still appreciate the fact that you’ve all made snacks come so cheaply. Even with N50 a broke brother like me can still get a very big ‘meeeetie pie’ from the nearest shop. But best believe it is big for nothing. There’ll be no fucking meat, instead you’ll find crushed corn, ewedu leaves, onions, crayfish, even mushroom. All disguised as beef with red colouring.

Such creativity is commendable. But why you people still name it meat pie, I will never understand.
Naija caterers, I salute your courage in carrying out unethical practices in broad day light over the years. I thank you caterers for feeding the nation over the years, feeding us with junks and yama-yama. Most of us now have phobia for snacks, no matter how mouth watering and
greasy they look when displayed in show-glasses.

We can no longer take your word for it when you say your egg rolls have full egg because we know it is either half egg or ordinary buns with ‘ororo’ (oil). If the later is the case, you will not take back what you’ve already sold. You’ll say the money is not refundable. Are you any different from a fraudster? You play a fast one on people and some of you are staunch christians and muslims.

Nigerians have been fooled, deceived and dribbled over the years in our quest for cheap snacks. To find a wholesome and rich snack these days is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. We are disappointed and very angry.


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