Some days like that, you will just stay and remember your father, mother, sister, brothers enjoying at home. And you’re still in Jss 1 oh, u neva even see anything. You’ll wonder how you’ll be able to survive your remaining 5 years ‘jail term’ with hard labour. You will cry and cry as if somebody beat you. Chai! Poor child.
9. *Cooking Indomie with pressing iron or boiling ring:
This crude method of cooking noodles is for those who cannot eat their indomie raw like biscuit. But if you get caught by a matron, you’ll explain whether the school has not been feeding you with ‘good’ food.
8. *Same sex love:
Most students ended up becoming bunk buddies, playing husband/wife roles between themselves. We understand…such long periods with the same species can play games on the mind. Hope u have repented sha?
7. *Cabin flakes and Rice and ketchup:
These were life savers! How else could boarders have survived the half bread and river-coloured tea for breakfast or the watery beans and stew-less rice with maggi-size meat? Come, na dog food?
6. *kitchen women:
My God will judge these ones. We know the corrupt practices that goes on in the school kitchen. The way these women shorten students ration and reserve large portions of foodstuff for personal use, somebody with conscience cannot do that. And you people can eat students food for Africa. Chai! The way una take big like yokozuna, una like am? Make una fear God o. Fear gawd!
5. *Fake gate-pass:
We will not come and die for you people in this school. Once in a while, you may need to see what the city looks like or engage in one kain outside school runs. But you will need to fake your exit papers. Anybody dat can successfully fake a gate pass can fake a visa to any country in the world. Students who did that are heroes. Lol.
The fear of a senior student is the beginning of wisdom, Cos dem no get joy at all. You will do senior’s laundry with your own soap, run errands, serve them your own food, dash them your provision and thank them for accepting it, you will entertain them too with different
displays. Is dat what i came to school to do? To become suffer- head? Kuku kill me.
3. *Senior school mother/father:
If you have a good-hearted school parent, insurance cover you jare. You can goan find trouble as u like. Do anyhow and nobody will tosh you. You may even inherit their properties when they graduate. School parents are the real MVP!
After lights-out when everyone is expected to sleep, this is when some students will become very active and begin to manifest their powers. That is how they’ll be flying from Hostel A to Hostel D. Cat sound and bat sound will come from left, right and centre. You cannot leave your
bed to pee at that hour of the night, unless u have liver or odi eshi. Biko, I cover myself with the blood of Jesus.
1. *Stealing of provisions:
If you’ve not mastered the art of sealing your bags and lockers with big padlock and industrial chain, just know that you have willingly offered
your provisions to serve as ‘operation feed the nation’. No time abeg!