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Allergy and Phobia: by Onyinye Ndupu

You say “Allergy and Phobia”, Nigerians say “Forming and lack of proper home training.”
As funny as this might sound or look, this is an almost very serious issue in Nigeria that should be addressed.
An average Nigerian does not believe in allergy or Phobia. It is either you are forming or your mama no train you well.

You cannot be allergic to fish- you are just forming boss.
You cannot be allergic to this soap, ees it not what your fellow children are using?
You must like this food, you must like that food. Don’t be picky!
You cannot be Aqua-phobic- you just don’t want to learn to swim, you are a mummy’s pet.
You cannot be Ligyrophobic – you are just forming miss quiet ass and Ajebota.

Onyinye Ndupu

You cannot be Claustrophobic- you just want everybody to leave the elevator for you. You just want to sit alone in the bus, selfish human.
The fuck is Enchlophobia? What is so difficult in facing a small crowd? Go and sing special number will you!? Eesit not your mates that are doing it? (Correct Nigerian Christian Mom)
What do you mean by Entomophobia? Are you not ashamed of yourself? Big Geh like you cannot kill common bug and cockroach? Tueh!
People need to learn about these phobias and allergies. Parents especially. Try to discern allergy from dislike.
Nigerians, that lady pleading with you to please allow her sit by the window is not forming, she is claustrophobic.

It’s 2016. There are lots of things you need to just Google and read that will improve your tolerance for certain attitude displayed by people. So that when that guy stops a bus and says he cannot sit in that small space you’ll not raise your nose to say things like; ‘You never serious to go where you wan go’.

No be only Oyinbo people dey get phobia and allergy.


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