I’d be surprise to visit a Nigerian home on a weekend and I’m not served beans. Many folks I know who’ve got busy lives and an over packed schedule hardly prepare beans on week days, except on few occasions. Usually, it is reserved for weekends simply because of the amount of time that goes into it’s preparation, From the sieving/ picking process to waiting long for your beans to get tender enough to eat.
Everyone and their grandma knows how to cook beans, but not everyone knows how to make beans SEXY. So as a foodie, I decided to show my readers how i get down in the kitchen when i prepare beans/ewa/bonzo/ agwa..depends on how it’s called in your own geographical region. Take this as a free tutorial. You know I value you.
AIM OF THIS CRASH COURSE ON BEANS PREPARATION IS;
– to teach y’all a few things about how to get your beans on fleek.
– to put our ladies to shame and further prove the saying that, ‘What a woman can do, a MAN can do better’.
– for you to finally throw away your boring 1927 beans recipe and adopt ‘Beans-mark’s’ recipe. You’ve got to enjoy good beans for once. Ha!
– for you to eat well and stay alive for me. I love you, And finally…
– to display my selling point and husband material quality in full glare of the public.
Now pay attention. Watch and learn; I’m sure you don’t want your beans looking like a sacrifice rejected by Amadioha
I don’t want you to cook something you’ll eat and be releasing bomb and fire-cracker sounds repeatedly from your backside- you know how it is when someone starts messing like a faulty ‘I-pass-my-neighbour’ generator.
Beans (white or brown), palm oil, crayfish, a cube of seasoning, salt, two onions, fresh pepper (better when it’s not in powdered form), sliced vegetable (ugu), dry fish (kpanla) it’s optional.
1. Shine ya eye when picking your beans. Be patient. We don’t want to have rocks, stones and weevils in our beans, right? Good!
2. Wash beans gently twice and put it in a pot, add water and let it cook for 10-15 mins.
3. Drain water with a filter. (Notice, it’s dark and dirty) This way you remove the storage chemicals used in preserving the beans.
4. Add fresh water again, and your parboiled beans as well. Add a pinch of salt. You don’t need much salt in beans, it’s got it’s natural taste, A sprinkle of crayfish (better when it’s grounded). Add fresh pepper. It adds colour to your beans.
5. Add your dry fish…those “small small precious kpanla fish”..
5. Add Kaun Potash (AKANWU), To tenderize your beans easily. It’s optional. I don’t use it. Your ewa-agoyin sellers do.
6. I like my palm oil to come in towards the end, beans taste better when the oil is still fresh and a bit raw in taste.
7. Add Sliced Vegetable (Ugu).
Cook the beans for fifty minutes to one hour until it is very tender.
Serve with fried plantain, fresh banana, soak garri or bread.
– Watery beans is a no no! Eat that one alone and purge alone biko.
– Strong, dry chaff-like beans ain’t better either.
– Oil-less beans is the worst of all. If your beans doesn’t grease or stain your lips, cut it out and accept that you may need to improve your cooking skills.
Ok! Class is over. Any questions?