Notice how we wield remote controls from our cozy couches – to turn things off and on. When the batteries in these remote controls are fully charged, we tend to control appliances in the living room without breaking a sweat. We go as far as ramming the remote against the palm of our hands or carefully chewing on the batteries when they cannot provide enough electricity to properly power our remotes.
In humans, control is never overrated. We all want to be in control – consciously or unconsciously. We want to control our demeanour. Who we fall in love with. The bearings of our whole life.
Most times, we don’t actually need to be in control; only a sense of it. Humans get a sense of control through power and trust. You can get a sense of control, by grabbing a situation by the scruff of the neck, which is basically about power. You can get a sense of control by ceding it to others, which is about trust. There are those who believe that; there is no love without trust.
When our parents or guardians are controlling us, we are confident because we trust them to provide the control we need in our lives. In fact, many people actively seek parent figures in all ramifications of their lives to provide them with this sense of control.
So, you’re in a new relationship with this girl, and during the niceties of personal factual peculiarities, she tells you she is obstinate. She needs “iron hands”. That you have to be a strong man to go out with her. She is looking to relinquish control because she loves and trusts you or perhaps, she can’t do it herself.
That should be easy, because you think you love her too. You don’t want to lose her. So, you try to be the man she needs. You try to conjure “iron hands”. Little by little, you lose yourself. The tenderness in you evaporates like vapour out of a boiling water pot. You start to revel in your new found “iron hand”. Overtime, you slowly lose every sense of chivalry.
Then, after a while, she ups and leaves. You find yourself irrepressibly inclined to using your old remote control for your new home appliances. This is surely how some wife and girlfriend hitters are birthed.
Jeff Ugochukwu Emmanuel