Posted in Bismark's Corner, Cave View, Uncategorized

Damn Etiquettes!

Yea I said it.
Why is it that when we go to any of the high end fancy restaurants we pretend to be something else other than our normal selves?
Everyone walks around with a sense of self-importance.
You hear people use a horrible accent on purpose while ordering food, even while asking a customer if a seat is taken. Quite funny.
You find everyone suddenly acting like they are more posh than everybody else. Haba! Nigerians!

The worst is while eating, we don’t eat like we enjoy these delicious pricey meals we don’t get to eat every other day.
Not only that we pick our food, reenacting how our Nollywood superstars eat sparingly in movies,
We become extremely careful not to allow food fall before reaching our mouth.
*Hehe..Do you want to disgrace your life?*
Should a single food particle fall from our mouth, we squirm and wish the ground would open and swallow us. Something tells you that the lady sitting across your table thinks you’re primitive.

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Okay, this food you bought with your own hard earned money, to chop am finish clean mouth na wahala. I see people leave half their food uneaten in fancy restaurants.
Who you dey leave am for?
You no fit even use hand tear chicken; you go dey shame to suck bone sef. You go dey do like say you no fit crush bone with your teeth again gan.
Leave it to some ladies to struggle with chicken meat using a fork; when they could easily do justice to it with their fingers.

Abeg, Mr and Mrs sophisticated, nobody gives a damn about your self-imposed etiquettes other than your extra conscious self.
You dey form? On top your money o. On top your 7000 Naira per plate of ordinary rice.
On top the Coca Cola you paid 150 Naira, a drink sold for 70 Naira in Mama Nkechi’s shop,
Such large chunk of money coughed out in this bad economy on extravagant meals, should make you drop your etiquettes and devour your food as if your whole life depends on it.

Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson is the Editor-In-Chief and founder of Bismark’s Cave. A native of Onuimo, Imo state. He is an Engineer and a freelance writer. When he writes, he tells it as it comes to him- raw and un diluted. Bismark loves Egusi soup and Fufu too!

4 thoughts on “Damn Etiquettes!

  1. I dey tells, I just remembered wen my cuz took me to mega chicken u know say na white pple n Sheba shildren dey full dia, she ordered for a plate of rice n chicken Oyibo o maram,wen I got to d part of eating my chicken I asked one of d workers wia to wash my hands oooo,i stood up wen dia, wash my hands n came back to d table to chaw my chicken wit my hands ooooo, me no send anybody ooooooooo,


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