MUTUAL RESPECT IN MARRIAGE versus BIBLICAL LOVE AND SUBMISSION: A feminist perspective – Written by Canice Dim

Good day, Greats…

A normal Nigerian feminist will tell you that he/ she does not believe in a wife submitting to her husband, rather they will go for both partners sharing responsibilities equally and respecting each other mutually.
This is an uninformed position.

If we look deeply, Love-Submission combo is same as mutual respect and that’s exactly what the Bible is advocating.
HUSBAND, LOVE YOUR WIFE. WIFE, SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND.
This is mutual respect.
Mutual respect means PLAY YOUR PART WELL AND I WILL PLAY MY PART WELL.
The problem is that this portion is been mis-interpreted by people who are not fans of the Bible, hence they make it look bad.

You cannot stand outside and imagine how a wife would feel if her loving husband loves her intensively.
You cannot stand outside and imagine how effortlessly a wife would submit knowing and trusting her husband to love her with all his heart.
WE JUST STAND OUTSIDE, WRONGLY ANALYSING SOMETHING OUTSIDE OUR GRASP.
A wife submitting to a husband that loves her is not a big deal. It does not strip her of being a feminist if she is one.

Feminism is a struggle for equal rights in marriage ONLY WHEN IT COMES TO LITIGATIONS AND PROPERTY OWNERSHIP SQUABBLES.
And not when the couples are mutually co-operating with each other in deep love and mutuality.
If you believe that feminism deals on who should wash the pot in your home between you and your husband, then you re deluded.
A husband that loves his wife will wash the pot whenever and however.
A wife that submits to her loving husband will wash that same pot whenever and however.
It is their collective home. It is called co-operation cum mutual respect.

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We must stop making our difficult lives more difficult and complicated.
Feminism is not an enemy of marriage and should never be. And to those that say that feminism and “wife submitting” can never go together You re being mischievous. You re painting feminists as ENEMIES OF MARRIAGE. And sadly, female feminists have fallen to your deadly traps, unknowingly.

The number one problem of marriage in Nigeria is that most of our men have stopped loving their wives but they still demand these women to submit to them.
Okweriba!
That is not mutual respect. To make your woman to submit, Love her very well first and see her melt.
Every woman melts when loved BY HER HUSBAND. Every woman should. If she fails to, why then did she marry him when her heart is not with him?

Never you marry someone you have no intense romantic feelings for…
And never you marry someone you cannot say you re sure that he/she has an intense romantic feelings for you.
Cos if you do,
That marriage will never work in this 21st century. Be you a feminist or a non feminist.

Marry whom you love. Not to wait to love whom you marry. The latter is a gamble.

Canice Dim is a fiction writer, a philosopher and a professional singer. He’s best described as unbelievably creative and also sensibly creative.
Reach him via Email: canicedim6@gmail.com
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