The cause of her sadness, she told her father, was that she’d “lost” her virginity to a boy and she’d been feeling pretty shitty about it.
She felt she’d lost a part of herself; like she wasn’t complete anymore.
Ben had never been able to put that word into context with virginity.
It saddened him how this unjust social construct had caught up with his only daughter.
And more so, how much it weighed her down. It just broke his heart to see her that way.
When he first had sex as a teenage boy, he felt everything but sad. He was elated.
He felt like a Jewish boy after his Bar mitzvah; he felt like he was finally a man. He wanted to brag about it amongst his friends. He felt like an eagle and he just wanted to soar the skies.
Such are every teenage boy’s feelings after his first time. Total bliss.
Except for those who were sexually molested as kids.
But for girls, it was pure misery. Because society so conveniently chose the female vagina as the most befitting place to put its moral beacon.
Well, not on his watch. Ben sought to put things in proper perspective for his daughter.
“When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?” He asked.
“I see myself” she said.
“Do you look any less beautiful now than you were before your hymen was torn?”
“No” she said, “I look just the same”.
“How is your reasoning capabilities? Do you feel yourself becoming less intelligent?” He asked again.
“No, I feel fine” she said.
“How about your savings account?” he asked, “have you had any fraudulent debits lately? A debit alert for the ‘non virgin’ tax perhaps”
“No I haven’t” she chuckled “that’s ridiculous dad”
“I know right”. Father and daughter both laughed.
“Dad, where are you going with this?” She asked.
“Honey”, he started, “I’m just trying to figure out what you’ve lost that’s so important to make you feel so bad about yourself. And as far as I can tell, you haven’t lost anything of real value.
You’re still as beautiful as ever, maybe even prettier.
You haven’t lost any points in your IQ. Trust me, daddy would know.
And you haven’t even lost any money; which is the least thing you could lose in this world by the way. So what exactly have you lost baby?”
“But I feel used dad” she said.
“Sweetie, are you a human being or a rental car people take for rides and dump when they’re done?” he asked.
“I am a human being” she replied.
“Baby, you can’t be used and dumped. If he’s too dumb to realize what an amazing girl you are and decides to walk away, that’s his loss not yours. It doesn’t leave a dent on your personality. Because you aren’t defined by what goes into your vagina but by the impact you leave on the world and in the lives of the people you love. Okay my love?”
At that moment, he saw the light return to her eyes. Like the rising of the sun after a stormy night.
He told her she’d be okay. Not that he needed to. She’s a smart kid, she knew it already.