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The Call – by Laura Oreva

It all started with the body I saw in the bathtub. Okay scratch that, it actually started with my big mouth.
If I had kept what I saw to myself or the police, I wouldn’t have become his prey. But no, being cursed with the gift of gab, I recounted the story for anybody who would listen.

I worked in a hotel, and had discovered her lifeless body when I went to check why Room 113 had refused to check out. One thing stood out, she wore red pumps and it fit the bloody water she was found floating, in a macabre way.
I wasn’t supposed to say anything to anybody, but I had and it had gotten to him.

The call came in, early when I was taking my morning run. I’d already programmed my phone for auto receive, I heard his voice almost immediately in my earpiece. “Sophia…”. He didn’t say more before hanging up.

I knew it was him. I’d always had good instincts. I was so scared that I wasn’t thinking straight. I know I should have gone to the police, but paranoia had overcome me. I locked myself indoors for days. Only going out to get necessities from the grocery shop, on the next block.
It was a good thing I’d gotten a break, on grounds of ” emotional stress”, at the hotel, so I was free to do as I wanted.

I stopped going out at night, and only went to places where the crowd was thick, but still I felt shadowed and stalked. I could almost swear, someone had come into my room, just the other night and traced his fingers on my full lower lip, but I woke up and found everything in order. I consoled myself that I’d projected my fear into my dreams.

This had to stop, and the only way I knew of losing myself from reality was working out at the local gym. It was Tuesday, and I usually put in a gruelling four hour workout with my personal trainer. I hadn’t been last week, and he’d called to remind me. I decided to spend my whole morning in the gym, catching up on lost hours.

The long Anticipated Song is finally here! Cop this new joint “Jehovah Bu Eze” By Louda

Download from the link below!!!

http://www.991nation.com/louda-jehovah-bu-eze.html%5B/caption%5D

It was midday, when I received a call from my neighbour, she had found my cat outside and was leaving to pick her daughter. I couldn’t even remember letting the cat out, I’d become so absent minded.
I said a fast goodbye and started running home. Home was just few blocks away and I knew I could make it if I ran.

I had just rounded the corner, when I bumped into a guy. He smiled, as he picked me up, exposing his white teeth and apologised for not watching where he was going.
I thanked him and took the last laps to my front door, where my cat was sitting in a cage.

Happily, I let her out and burst into my front door. Something was wrong, the blinds were drawn and all the bulbs were not lit. I always left my lights on. Cat gave a pitiful meow, and bolted back through the front door, causing the door to close with a sharp bang.
I hastily turned around, trying to open the door when I felt a hand clamp around my waist from behind.

A bloodcurdling scream escaped my mouth, the same time the lights came back on and a chorus of voices shouted, “Surprise!”.
Standing there was Max, my boyfriend. With all happening, I’d forgotten my own birthday. He kissed me and told me how he’d been planning this party for a while now. He’d called to tell me he was coming home for the hols, but couldn’t relay his message since network had been shitty, and so had decided to surprise me instead.

Well, mystery solved. That call had been Max and not some stalker. I threw my head back, and laughed for two straight minutes, thanking heavens for once that my instincts were wrong.
The party was in full swing, when the doorbell rang and I rushed to answer it.

There on my doorstep, sitting next to Cat’s cage, was a wrapped box.
I gently picked it up and opened the box. Nestled inside, on a bed of roses was a pair of red pumps, with an attached note.
On the note was written, ” You looked beautiful today, covered in sweat. Let your hair down more often.”


Laura Oreva is presently studying Pharmacy. She loves reading and listening to music. Laura can be reached on Facebook – Laura Oreva or by email – lauraoreva125@gmail.com

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FACE OF THE CAVE FOR THE WEEK (Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence)

Let’s kick start your week with our lovely faces of the cave for the week. Meet them –


Name: Dikeocha Chinwendu(Née Okere)
State: Imo


Profession: business owner (Importation of Kiddies’ wears) Likes: Making new friends


Dislikes: Lies and Dishonesty


Favourite Quote: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world” (Mahatma Gandhi)

The long Anticipated Song is finally here! Cop this new joint “Jehovah Bu Eze” By Louda

Download from the link below!!!

http://www.991nation.com/louda-jehovah-bu-eze.html%5B/caption%5D


Name: Obiefule Chika David
State: Imo


School: FUTO (graduate)
Field: Computer Science


Likes: real, honest, funny and intelligent people.
Dislikes: fake, dishonest, boring and un intelligent people.


Favourite quote: “Your talent brings you before kings but your character/attitude keeps you there”.
Contact: 08102325493

Quote For The Week
“Nothing is more creative… nor destructive… than a brilliant mind with a purpose”. – Dan Brown

To qualify for the next Face of the cave series
*Have your profile be a clear face shot.
*Give a brief description of yourself and please make sure to include your likes, dislikes and hobbies.
*Submit them to the chatterbox team within four days from now via bbm pin- 2898fd68 or inbox Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson on Facebook.

Cheers to the new Face of the cave!

Share your thoughts on this week’s faces in the comment box.
We’d also love for you to stay in touch with us! The best way to keep up to date is to subscribe to Bismark’s cave. You can do this by tapping the ‘follow’ option.

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An Un-Merry Christmas – Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson

Reasons why this year’s yuletide celebrations wouldn’t be one of the happiest.

BANK ISSUES

A system that should be easier and convenient has become so unreliable and frustrating this period. Apart from the dysfunctional/cash less/network-abandoned transaction machines at every corner; the few working ATMs have a whole community waiting to withdraw their life savings for Christmas and new year flexing.
You see these long queues that reminds one of a polling unit and you wonder if its a crime to keep your money in the bank. Having your savings stashed in a “kolo” or buried in the soil could’ve been a better option.
You find Nigerians perspiring under the heat of the sun, waiting long hours to withdraw. The forlorn look on their faces, bitterness, hopelessness…
After being through such hell, some eventually go back to their destinations cash less & frustrated because the ATMs are either unable to dispense or some network issue popped up.
Then you step into the over-crowded Banking hall looking almost like Yaba market; you’re told that the bank can’t pay customers their monies due to insufficient cash. If you run mad at this point, it is understandable. Only in Nigeria!

PRICEY ITEMS

The price of all essential household commodities in the market is crazy.
Rice (not plastic rice) equates with gold right now in terms of current value & cost. With so many palm oil producing states in the country; its a big shame that the price of something as basic as Palm oil has sky rocketed. Palm oil is a luxury presently!
It takes the skills of a ‘virtuous woman’ weaved from special wife material to fix a good soup with less than one thousand Naira.
So what will the poor be having on Christmas day?

My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson

NO DATE, NO LOVER

Sincere, content, God-fearing humans are a diamond in the rough in Nigeria.
Available single female folks out there are mostly scheming, money-hungry leeches. I think the days when a brother’s value wasn’t measured by his pocket size but by substance are gone.
Nowadays, money makes a man a MAN! A man’s ability to grind hard & empty his savings on a Nigerian lady is all he needs to win her heart.
Fund all her crazy expenses ranging from high priced Peruvian weaves to recharge cards & sharwama and you’re the ultimate man (maga).
I don’t know if this ugly trend has much to do with severe hunger in the land & economic recession.
And because of this, a brother gets to spend another Christmas and new year, alone & single…with just a cat and a four year old laptop providing company.

Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson is the Editor-In-Chief and founder of Bismark’s Cave. A native of Onuimo, Imo state. He is an Engineer and a freelance writer. When he writes, he tells it as it comes to him- raw and un diluted. Bismark loves Egusi soup and Fufu too!
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The Child Hawker – Laura Oreva

It’s a traffic jam. Drivers are cussing, horns are blaring and passengers are restless.
A scrawny arm pushes a bottle of something into the car, followed by a hoarse, raspy voice saying in broken English “Aunty buy liquid soap, no cost.”
I’m wearing a skirt, tights and a thick cardigan, but I still feel the bite of the cold wind.

The child comes into view, and I notice he can’t be more than eight. He’s wearing trousers and just a cotton shirt with some of the buttons missing.
His plight gets to even the driver, who stops his cussing long enough to mumble something about uncaring parents.
The other passengers buy the two remaining soap in his basket and tell him to keep the change. The driver again mutters about how his parents would collect the extra money, but still I press some change and an uneaten snack into his small cold hands.

My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson

The cars start to move, he runs alongside our car thanking us like we just gave him the whole world, till he can no longer keep up.
I turn around one last time just before the car leaves him behind, and our eyes lock. I’m rattled to the bone by what I see. I feel like I’m staring into the eyes of one so old, one who has seen all the good and bad life has to offer. So unlike the innocent look in the eyes of my niece.

I’m forced to come to the realisation, that I’m staring into the eyes of one who was forced to grow out of his childhood, at a pace he never even understood.


Laura Oreva is presently studying Pharmacy. She loves reading and listening to music. Laura can be reached on Facebook – Laura Oreva or by email – lauraoreva125@gmail.com

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Would Young People Make Better Leaders? – By Steve Chike Abia

With the emergence of a few young people floating new political parties, as an answer to good governance and effective leadership for a better Nigeria (which is refreshing by the way), Steve Abia weighs in on this new development –

You know, it is not about shouting “Youth Party”. Whether you are a youth or not is immaterial when it comes to leadership in Nigeria. The mere fact that you are a youth does not give you an edge in leadership issues, especially the Nigerian youths.

Go to our campuses and you will see the life of the average Nigerian youth in politics. SUG in campuses is a proof that the Nigerian youth is irredeemable as far as politics is concerned. Stories of student politicians embezzling SUG dues worth millions of Naira is a norm – money paid by their fellow students. SUG elections in Enugu University is worse than the just concluded Rivers state elections.

My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson

Thuggery, violence, ballot snatching, intimidation, voter inducement, financial irregularities… These are the things that define SUG politics in most schools. And this is where we train these youths in the art of ‘politicking’.

In politics, there is nothing exceptional about the Nigerian youth. He is as corrupt and dirty as the old men.
We should place less emphasis on “youths” and talk more about individuals with integrity, vision, intellect, zeal and selfless attitude, be they youths or not.


Steve Chike Abia is a Biomedical scientist, a writer and a social critic. He loves to play table tennis and scrabble. He can be reached on Facebook with the name ‘Steve Chike Abia’

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FACE OF THE CAVE FOR THE WEEK (Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence)

They are stunning and picture perfect. Meet our faces of the week – Melvin and Rita.
Futo graduate, Didi Melvin is not just a witty, talented writer; he’s also a fashionista with one of the most enviable bodies! He keeps giving us some serious fitness goals, and for that he is deserving of this spot.
Rita is as beautiful as always. Pretty smile and an incredible style.
Scroll down to read their profiles and view more photos!


Name: Didi Melvin Ezekwem .
State: Imo


Likes: Happiness, success, honesty
Dislikes : lies, gossip, gloom.


Hobbies: cuddling, watching movies, having some me time with my phone


Favourite Quote: God hides treasures in unlikely things. Never look down in anyone .


Contact- Didi Melvin Ezekwem (Facebook) @didizecks (instagram)

My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson


Name: Rita Onyebuchi Mowete
State: Delta


Profession: catering
likes: movies, hangouts


Dislikes: gossip, pride, arrogance hobbies: singing
Favourite Quote: It is he that wears the shoe that knows where it pinches


Contact: Rita Onyebuchi Mowete (Facebook)

Quote for the week –
“I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, “aw shit, he’s up!” – Steve Maraboli

To qualify for the next Face of the cave series
*Have your profile be a clear face shot.
*Give a brief description of yourself and please make sure to include your likes, dislikes and hobbies.
*Submit them to the chatterbox team within four days from now via bbm pin- 2898fd68 or in box Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson on Facebook.

Cheers to the new Face of the cave!

Share your thoughts on this week’s faces in the comment box. We’d also love for you to stay in touch with us! The best way to keep up to date is to subscribe to Bismark’s Cave. You can do this by tapping the ‘follow’ option.

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What Will The Priest Say? – Written by Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson

I was a guest at a child thanksgiving after-church party the other day. A lavish one thrown at the residence of the couple, on a Sunday afternoon.
Most guests who were present at the occasion happened to be church members of the couple who followed the celebrants from church to their home. So, the party was Christian-themed. More so, with an invited priest around, dressed in his complete priestly regalia; it was deemed a religious gathering.
In fact, the party was almost a continuation of the church service held few hours ago – there were long prayers, praise and worship sessions and bible lessons.

Every item was spiritualized. No Wizkid, Olamide or Phyno jamz. No show of craziness. What will the priest say if things were done the other way round?
Safe, corny jokes were told by the MC, Tables had only Malt, bottled water and soft drinks – The type of drinks Jesus would approve of. While crates of beer were safely hidden at a corner – Even though many church brothers on my table obviously longed for alcohol. But what will the priest say? Every guest was careful not to do anything that wouldn’t honour or glorify God, in the priests’ presence.
I can confidently say the whole sanctimoniousness was awkward as hell. If a lot of folks like me seated under the canopy were seriously honest with themselves, the party was boring as hell!

My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson

By the time the host couple were called out to dance, i cringed as they attempted to dance rhythmically to gospel songs by Don Meon and Panam Percy Paul. Behind the fake smiles and forced jubilant dance moves they showcased; i could tell it was a struggle.
You seldom find any priest spending too much time with mere mortals at a party or even eating and drinking in public. So ‘father’ excused himself and took his leave.
It came as a relief to ALL!
That’s when the party really started. After all, We didn’t come to church, we came to party!

Immediately, the MC grabbed the mic and joyfully announced, “free yourself o…pastor don go o! we can now do as we like. Abeg DJ number 6!”
Music quickly switched from Frank Edwards to Phyno “fada fada”…next Flavour’s “golibe”…next Tiwa Savage’s “my darling”….
While these party jamz blasted from the speakers, everywhere gradually came alive and bubbled. Brethren began to get their groove on. No dulling. The celebrants were now happier than ever.
Beer bottles were passed around each table, as everyone snapped out of their hypocrisy and got merry.

Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson is the Editor-In-Chief and founder of Bismark’s Cave. A native of Onuimo, Imo state. He is an Engineer and a freelance writer. When he writes, he tells it as it comes to him- raw and un diluted. Bismark loves Egusi soup and Fufu too!
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The Akagum’ Disease – by Surv Jeff Emmanuel

Throughout my life, I’ve heard people say that: money should be nurtured. I couldn’t agree more. But then again, there is a thin line between being frugal with money and being overly stingy and close fisted. There are those who tow this divide with great finesse, and those who find themselves wobble occasionally. Worst of the bunch are those embedded with stinginess in their DNA. They just can’t bring themselves to be liberal!

Make no mistake about it, no one likes an Akagum (tight fisted person) in their lives. No one! We all appreciate a bit of generosity from time to time. I am well aware, that the Akagums think that by being so tight fisted, they save more money, but that is not necessarily true. They actually lose money and prestige by being….well, themselves. How? Stay with me.

My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson

An Akagum rarely takes investment opportunities. They just cannot risk their beloved money. They can’t aim for the sky! This is why you see them stunted and stagnant for as long as you’ve known them. Remember that business man on your street, who drives around on a jalopy with that same trouser and shirt all year and yet never grows? That is Akagumism biting back.

They hate responsibility. Their parsimonious nature robs them slowly of their every sense of responsibility. When they are looked up to they repeatedly fail. You never see them take up any position in any dispensation they find themselves, unless it is imposed. All for the phobia of loosening their purse string. Now, where is the prestige in that?

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FACE OF THE CAVE FOR THE WEEK (APPRECIATION OF BEAUTY AND EXCELLENCE)

Let’s take a peek into the world of this week’s faces – Chiedozie and Pretty Derah! One exciting thing about the both of them is that – they are stunning models.


Name: Chukwueggu Chiedozie Otunba
State: Imo


Profession: Offshore and marine, industrial HSE safety
Likes: Anything that’s worth living for


Dislikes: Body odour, lies, sycophants
Favourite quote: “the thorns before roses shows is only hard work that leads to success”


Contact – Instagram – kelvindreams

My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson


Name: Dera Umunnakwe
State: Imo


School: Imo State University (computer science graduate)
Profession: Network administrator, modelling


Likes: Cleanliness
Dislikes: Boredom


Favourite quote: “Whatever is is worth doing is worth doing well”
Contact: ‘Derah Preety Umunakwe (Facebook)

Quote for the week – Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it – Gautama Buddha

To qualify for the next Face of the cave series
*Have your profile be a clear face shot.
*Give a brief description of yourself and please make sure to include your likes, dislikes and hobbies.
*Submit them to the chatterbox team within four days from now via bbm pin- 2898fd68 or in box Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson on Facebook.

Cheers to the new Face of the cave!

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Nigerian Parents And Their Troubles – by Michael Okoye

Some of our parents/Elders need to chill the fuck out. Seriously, which kain wahala be this? I’m sure many of you will relate with what i’m about to say.
Sometimes, our dad or mom would walk into our room..
‘ah ah, since morning you and this your phone..’
And then the reminiscing lecturing begins..

They begin to narrate sordid details of the happenings in their time – for the thousandth time. How they woke up at 5am in the blistering cold and went to the village stream to fetch water, carrying heavy pots of water. Of course the village stream is at least 5 kilometres from civilisation. When the drums are filled, they hurry to the farm for some farm-work. When they’re done, they hurry up for school without having breakfast.

My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson

They start trekking to school, which is several kilometres from home. They waddled through seven rivers, climbed seven mountains. They, of course, fought off wild animals and battled evil spirits along the way. They reached school and received their punishment for coming late with grace.
They returned from school and then went straight to the farm. In the evening, they then manage the dregs from the food from the previous night. This is the chronicle of the average parent in Nigeria.

So… Bloody… What?!
What do you want us to do? Teleport back to the ’50s? Why are you heckling us? Na our fault sey them born us for this generation? Why the thing dey pinch you?
Seriously, you people need to chill. Relax, life is ever changing. New order would replace the old. Life would get more complex than before. Why fight it? Accept it and move on. All this whining won’t help decrease your BP.

Some of you guys are even envious of the way we raise our kids. I’m sorry but i’m going to enjoy my children every which way. I’m not going to make them feel like they are functional officers in a military encampment. Don’t stand there shaking your head telling us how we’ve ‘spoilt’ our kids. Your way isn’t always the best. Take a chill pill and accept that generations would come and go.
Cheers.


Michael Okoye