This country is wonderfully filled with abnormal people.
This is the only country a man will build a bungalow with 4 and a half rooms and name it #Temidire_Castle. His neighbour who is struggling to feed his 13 children and 9 wives will become envious. The negro will borrow money from alajeseku to add a small room to his abandoned decking. He will get Mufu the painter to emblazon a sign saying “Peace Villa”, but Mufu is an inebriated midget from Ibadan, he will paint “PISS FILLA”.
An Igbo spare parts seller in Ladipo Mushin will labour like an ant, rush to his home town in Onitsha, erect a 4-storey building with a window linking to his neighbour’s. He will proudly write “God is Good Towers”. That’s how someone will build a storey building with 12 shops and no toilet. He will proudly call it “Adelove MALL”. His neighbour, an Edo pimp who made money shipping Uromi gehs to Belgium will acquire half a plot of land, build 3 shops and title it “Oba Oghenedo Plaza”.
My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson
A Nigerian politician will address Buhari as “His Excellency, the President of the Federal republic of Nigeria, Retired General Muhammadu Buhari, Grand Commander of the Federal Republic” when a whole Trump is simply Mr. Trump. An obese senator from IkotEkpene will use 50 minutes to say, “Your majesty, distinguished Senator and President of the Senate, Dr Bukola Saraki of the Afonja dynasty”. The time that should be used to pass Bills will be used for rankadede alhaji.
82 years old Ambassadorial nominee? Every person involved in the foisting of this misnomer on us, thunder faya you.
My favourite faces of the week happen to be two outstanding personalities.
If you live in the city of Owerri and you listen to Hot fm (Hot 99.5) Owerri, you’d know Maximus Agbaegbu; the popular on air personality with a unique baritone voice who once anchored the much raved about radio show, “The Peoples Assembly”.
He earned a reputation for bringing to light social issues and possible solutions to them.
He is arguably, one of the best presenters and has been recognised by a few notable bodies, including a ‘rising on air personality’ award conferred by Imo state university students.
After a long stint as an on air personality, Maximus Agbaegbu has moved on to other bigger things.
In his words, “I’m Maximus Chima Agbaegbu, I’m from Imo State, Southeast Nigeria. A trained Microbiologist with a Master’s in Public Health but found myself in the media. I have loved it so far but i’m very open to new things. I personally believe that you can be anything you imagine yourself to be, if you stay consistent with your passion and work hard”.
When asked about his likes & dislikes he says, “I like honest and hardworking people, i hate arrogant people.”
And he did mention his favourite quote by Eleanor Roosevelt,
which I think should be everyone’s self motto – “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
Maximus Agbaegbu can be reached on Facebook with the same name or email maximuschima@gmail.com
My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson
Akwaibom born, Chelsea Edo is a young hardworking female determined to make the best use of her talent within her field.
Chelsea Edo describes herself as an ‘independent woman’ and that’s admirable.
When asked what appeals to her the most, she says she likes flowers.
Well, I think she looks like a bouquet of roses!
Also, she had this powerful quote for us: “loose lips sink ships”. Hmm.. no doubt sister! Preach!
Chelsea is a professional Cosmetologist with magic fingers to make you look great.
You can reach Chelsea on Facebook (Chelsea Edo) or 08124023209
_________________________ Quote For The Week
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot
To qualify for the next Face of the cave series
*Have your profile be a clear face shot.
*Give a brief description of yourself and please make sure to include your likes, dislikes and hobbies.
*Submit them to the chatterbox team within four days from now via bbm pin- 2898fd68 or inbox Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson on Facebook.
Cheers to the new Face of the cave!
Share your thoughts on this week’s faces in the comment box.
We’d also love for you to stay in touch with us! The best way to keep up to date is to subscribe to Bismark’s cave. You can do this by tapping the ‘follow’ option.
Echi ga abu echi oma n’ime ndu anyi, that is optimism in spoken words, spiritual declaration for the believers. Oga adi mma, that is being hopeful; futuristically, imploring one to hold on. But in all honesty, optimism and belief aside, and saying it as it seems, echi oga aka taa mma? In colloquial terms, “does it really get better?” Rhetorical question.
I remember this blockbuster that made waves almost a decade ago, carving out the ‘aal izz well’ cliché to go with it. Starring Amir Khan who stated categorically, that the aforementioned cliché was to make the heart be at ease, not that all was really at ease. I could not agree more.
Take a look around and inwardly, be truthful, be honest, barring the natural growth, barring the fact that time is a great healer. Does it really get better? Does what is in front tend to get easier? Nehi. Does it really get better, or are we just a bunch of optimists who put out optimistic, consolatory and hackneyed sentences to quell the troubles of the heart and forge ahead. Does the future really promise all we say or is it just ‘okwu nkasi obi‘ for the faint-hearted to march on?
Since it does not get easier ahead, where does it getting better stem from if not sheer OPTIMISM?
On the climatic front, we all know how capricious our climate has become, no thanks to the much touted ‘Global Warming’ and some self-induced phenomenon that we tend to allude to natural causes -lemme not delve into that today.
Let us bring it home, politically, are the promises getting better or are they the same trite and supposedly worn-out ones? Will it get better and close to two decades the promises of yesteryears have not been fulfilled and we expect to hit new heights, huh?
On the cost of living front, are the prices of things still going to plummet? You can really tell the prices of things when you were young and correlate it with the ‘e go beta’ cliché, then place it next to the ever-rising prices of items and tell me, nwanne, o ga adi mma, K’obu okwu nkasi obi?
My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson
Comparing today to yesterday, and in the same vein, today to the ‘tomorrow’ that never comes. Can we say we have really progressed, or we are just in a cyclic movement and having grown into the discomfort of yesterday, which now seems a lot more comfortable than before.
We always say tomorrow, but in reality tomorrow never seems to come. Sheer farcical.
If I were asked, I would say, NEHI….
But nonetheless, we march on. We grow into it, it never gets better. It never gets better, we just get wiser, more matured and just like our immune system, more immune to bullshits of yesteryears/day. Hence, our new found comfort is hinged on our new found immunity being greater than the bedevilments of yesterday in the lookout for what today brings.
Something Striking: If it really gets better, how come we look back at throwbacks and yesterdays and say, “the good old days”. Ever wonder?
We march on, because only the strong continue/survive/thrive.
PS: ‘e go beta’, thanks you for giving the hopeless of yesterday hope for tomorrow, else, many would end their quest for the struggle TODAY!
Abeg, make I ask you, does it really get better? Gba mu ukwu n’eze. 😁😁😁
Okafor Tochukwu is a voracious reader & freelance writer he is also a football fanatic. He blogs his ideas at FREELANCINGTOKS’ BLOG
OBITUARY, OBITUARY, OBITUARY….
Here lies a mother, sister and daughter
Here lies a victim of black slaughter
She was our music
She was our dance
She was amusing like ancient romance
Survived by children, relatives and friends
Survived by lovers who plotted her end
Abandoned for beauty
Abandoned for trend
Abandoned for a juicy white girlfriend
She schooled in the kitchen
A perfect stomach magician
She had a husband
She treasured like waistband
She lived his life
A true black wife
Her body he plundered
Her wealth he squandered
Yet she never thundered
A true love drunkard
She gave birth but had none
Her words they hated and shun
Adopted by whites
They bid decency goodnight
Women kissing women
Men wedding men
Naked with clothes on
They legalised public porn
In pain she wiped for years
Until she got drowned in tears
….Her name was culture
Married to Africa…
Peter Benjamin Peter
2Benpet@gmail.com
08085334161
Meet this week’s cuties…
_____________________________
Name: Chijioke Ogechi Esther State: Imo
School: Federal Polytechnic Nekede Field: Business Management
Likes: Being in company of good friends, travelling Dislikes: lies and not been straight forward.
Favourite Quote: ‘stand out and make a difference.’
Contact: Facebook (Chijioke Ogechi Esther)
My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson
Name: Tochukwu Ogbu State: Enugu
Profession: Engineer at Sound House Entertainment School: Enugu State University of Science and Technology (Graduate)
Likes: Honesty Dislikes: Lies, Un-faithfulness
Favourite Quote: ‘Wearing tight shoes to a fight and losing. That’s agony of the feet and defeat.’
Contact: Facebook (Tochukwu Ogbu)
_________________________ Quote For The Week
“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success” – Swami Sivananda
To qualify for the next Face of the cave series
*Have your profile be a clear face shot.
*Give a brief description of yourself and please make sure to include your likes, dislikes and hobbies.
*Submit them to the chatterbox team within four days from now via bbm pin- 2898fd68 or inbox Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson on Facebook.
Cheers to the new Face of the cave!
Share your thoughts on this week’s faces in the comment box.
We’d also love for you to stay in touch with us! The best way to keep up to date is to subscribe to Bismark’s cave. You can do this by tapping the ‘follow’ option.
Were you worried about the ‘pre-wedding shoot’ trend that has now become “a must” for every couple, and you wondered whose idea was that? Now brace up! – Stay seated and wait for what’s about to hit you.
Another emerging trend that seems like it has come to stay as well is the ‘birthday shoot’.
You must have seen a lot of them already on Instagram and Facebook.
In this social media age, its a given that every celebration should be marked with beautifully captured photos, displayed before the eyes of the world on social networks; The more reason why all kinds of shoots – birthday shoot, baby bump shoot, post pregnancy shoot, will be around for a long time.
I’m supposed to dwell on birthday shoots anyway.
This happens prior to the celebrant’s big day (Birthday).
Days, weeks or months before the date, the hunt begins for professional photography studio and a carefully selected photographer well-versed in his craft – you don’t want to mess up the single opportunity you’ve got slay! You’ve waited so long for this.
Arrangements are also made for birthday photo attires (could be more than one).
All of it is aimed at having an exquisitely beautiful birthday shoot & breaking the internet.
On the D-day, highly anticipated birthday photos with a strong resemblance to a fashion magazine spread, are released on IG & Facebook.
Series of flawless pictures & ‘never-seen-before’ elegant outfits serenade the screens of friends & followers, enough to convince people that you are indeed destined to be a model.
And no! I have not mentioned Photoshop. *lip sealed*
My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson
The birthday photos usually go along with a well-crafted simple birthday caption or a long speech detailing the story of your life. Words along the lines of, “thanking God for making it possible to see today…” scratch that! We know that you’re all about launching your well-planned birthday photos, *clears throat*, sorry, declaring your birthday with a big fashion statement. It’s typical to see a few mentions of a glam squad – in a typical celebrity manner.
– Photograph by xyz,
– Styled by pqp,
– Makeup by abc
And hashtags like, #RoadTo25 #Dirty30 #BirthdayGurl
So if you think that this generation is about to slow down for a minute on photo shoots, you’re mistaken!
Photographers must be making a killing!
Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson is the brainchild of Bismark’s Cave blog. A native of Onuimo, Imo state. He is an Engineer and a freelance writer. When he writes, he tells it as it comes to him- raw and un diluted. Bismark loves Egusi soup and Fufu too!
March 2011 I was posted to Borno State for my one year National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) When I got the letter I cried and cried and almost did not go until my sweet elder brother assured me that he was going to do something about me being redeployed from Borno.
Finally i travelled to Borno State, Maiduguri to be precise for the three weeks orientation camp, in the camp I virtually wallowed in self pity, depressed and was always scared due to the gist we use to hear from the Soldiers in our camp. Finally the three weeks camp ended and it was time to post us to our respective Local Governments for primary assignments, lo and behold I was posted to Chibok, I asked some Soldiers how Chibok was like and they compounded my fear, one of them told me to buy anything I would be needing from Maiduguri because I may not like what I would see in Chibok.
My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson
Finally the long ride to Chibok, we got to Damboa and boarded another bus to Chibok, on our way I thought we were going to be killed, no single roads our vehicle was passing through bush paths through thick forest, we were all screaming in the bus and the driver was busy laughing in a scary and unusual way I nearly fainted.
Well, I stayed one week in Chibok I was glad I actually bought what I needed from Maiduguri because their water tasted like ice cream, that one week I fed on water and cold beverages, that one week in Chibok my depression was raised to power 2, that one week in Chibok I had mental problem because we were practically living in an unfenced thick forest called Corpers Lodge, I never slept at night I was always awake and alert before I finally got a call from my brother that I had been redeployed to FCT.
My happiness knew no bounds. A day after I left Chibok, they killed a big snake close to where I used to sleep. When I was told, I just knew that Jehovah God was and is still on my side preparing me for something special.
After all said and done I can authoritatively beat my hand on my chest and say that I have been to the most popular and prestigious town in Nigeria (CHIBOK)!! #GoinDownMemoryLane.
Written by: Abanifi Phoebe Ijeoma, three years ago
The cave’s faces are Munachi & Prince. Read their profiles below.
Name: Okpegbuo Munachi State: Abia Field: Medicine
School: University of Ilorin Likes: Empathic people,reading, web surfing,travelling Dislike: Stupid people, cockroaches
Favourite Quote: Success is the best revenge. Contact: Facebook (Glittex Munachi)
My anticipated ebooks – “The life of a Lagos” whore and “Campus Affair” are available. Get Your Copies Now! And enjoy an in-depth view of real life happenings in our society – the bad and the ugly! It also serves as an eye opener.
To get copies, email: maduka_ekene@yahoo.com
Facebook- Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson
Name: Prince Dozie Okonkwo State: Anambra School: Abia State University
Profession: Accountant Likes: honesty, straight forward people Dislikes: Lies and cheat
Favourite Quote: “Life is All about hard work” Phone no: 08091007389
_______________________________________ Quote For The Week
“The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
To qualify for the next Face of the cave series
*Have your profile be a clear face shot.
*Give a brief description of yourself and please make sure to include your likes, dislikes and hobbies.
*Submit them to the chatterbox team within four days from now via bbm pin- 2898fd68 or inbox Bismark Ekenedilichukwu Benson on Facebook.
Cheers to the new Face of the cave!
Share your thoughts on this week’s faces in the comment box.
We’d also love for you to stay in touch with us! The best way to keep up to date is to subscribe to Bismark’s Cave. You can do this by tapping the ‘follow’ option.
Mr Seyilaw Ransom King is a graduate of Law from University of Ado-Ekiti. He is the CEO of Lofty Purple Ray, a company that provides Agro-Allied packaging machines, it also has a brand of Construction and Industrial and personal safety Kits known as “Lofty Safety” – products ranging from safety helmets, safety shoes, fall arresters and several other safety accessories.
Having Mr Seyi discuss entrepreneurship in this interview was exceptional. Evidently, he has a profound knowledge of entrepreneurship because he took it from a different dimension which was enlightening.
The main focus of this interview is to inspire innovation and creativity and impact our world in a positive way. In the words of Mo Abudu “If you can think it, you can do it.”
Read interview below.
_________________________
Q: How did you start out? Your story would definitely inspire and motivate many readers. A: I’ve known for sure that doing business is my passion, but I grew up to believe that education is the only way to make it in life, quite unfortunate for me. In the year 2016, I made my mind up to own a company which is Lofty Purple Ray Ltd today.
Q: From an entrepreneurial perspective, what does it entail to start up a similar business outfit? A: I won’t be specific on a particular business because I am also involved in so many types of businesses. My view is whatever you desire to achieve as an entrepreneur, you must be sure its solution driven and you need to make your dreams a burning desire. You need to be mad over your dreams because its never going to be easy.
Q: We know this clime and terrain particularly isn’t favourable to entrepreneurs. There are a lot of challenges. But can you tell us your major constraints? A: My major constraint is people. Only few can be trusted in business and definitely you can’t do it alone. Getting the right people matters alot.
Q: Lofty Purple Ray is a leading Exporter & Supplier of solar and wind energy. Are these raw materials readily available? A: Yes at the moment we have our products in Tanzania, and a few in Nigeria. Our products are highly in demand because of the epileptic power supply in Nigeria.
Q: Does Lofty Purple Ray offer other services outside Agriculture? A: Definitely. We deal in Solar systems and packaging machineries for sachets & pouches for food and Agro industries.
Q: Can you recount your success stories and failures, and downtimes so far? A: Early this year Lofty Purple Ray Ltd was able to cement an international partnership with Elsonic Group Hong Kong/ India (manufacturer of alternative energy) to be the sole distributor of all solar and alternate Energy Products in Nigeria and the whole of African Region. This year seams to be a mix for me as well as in my business.
As for my losses, I have lost some, I have lost some money invested in some of our kitchenware products which was seized in India in December. But that’s business, we won’t stop because of that.
Q: Can you tell us your current new projects? A: Right now with the Board of Directors of my company we are giving opportunities to willing investors interested in our ‘light up Nigeria’ solar project.
Q: Nigerian Economy is currently in a depression. In what ways can Agriculture salvage this situation? A: Agriculture is life, if we can wake up from our slumber and go back to the farm, hunger will be a thing of the past in our nation and with time money will be a minute issue because agriculture is the only way out of this mess we find ourselves in presently.
Q: Favourite Motivational Quote? A: If you hold it in your mind, your can have it in your hands.
Q: When you’re not travelling round the globe, how do you relax? A: I love to be with my family.
Q: Few words for BismarksCave blog. A: I am humbled by this rare opportunity given to me to share my view with fellow young and bright minds. I have gone through this blog and found it amazingly great. The world will be a better place with people like you.
God had teleported himself from the swirl of a brimming old monk wine into a chimera, that haunted his dreams within the brick walls of his chamber; decorated with fine tapestries that provided an extra layer of warmth.
“Winter is coming” a disembodied voice declared, the chunky and titian haired pope grasped.
He flipped into a sitting position and swung his head from side to side. The fenestral windows with lattice frames, covered in fabric soaked in resin and tallows, allowed in just enough light to locate his white zuchetto.
Donning his white mozetta, a gold pectoral cross and red papal shoes, he scurried down the Vatican hallways and into the basilica; where he summoned the head of the college of Cardinals.
“Someone broke the Rule of St. Benedict. A long winter is fast approaching. Summon the benedictines; let their Knights go to every door and collect their tithes and offerings. Let them pay for their baptisms with seeds, wine, harvested grains and animals. If peasants have not the means, let them work on Vatican lands so they may be baptised and sanctified at teshuvah tomorrow.”
“Bu…but Holy Father, if winter is coming, surely the people must preserve seeds and grains for their families or they will be famished” the Cardinal retorted.
“I’m the vicar of Christ on earth. Shall my house be empty? There is a reason I bear the holy ring of St. Peter and not you Cardinal” the pope barked, his voice reverberating the walls as he stretched his hand to the Cardinal for a kiss on the ring.
St. Peter square buzzed with nobles and peasants alike. The holy father arrived in his gestatorial chair. The pallium covering his shoulders, extended down the length of his body.
The benedictines and their Knights perched on every house, performing the cleansing rites in the pope’s stead as teshuvah proceeded.
They had come to a house made out of sticks, straw and mud when they noticed a young boy devoid of muscle mass, underneath it’s roofing. He clutched a freshly plucked purple fruit with both hands, cheerfully devouring it.
A knight pitched closer to where the boy sat. He discovered the fruit to be from the Orlah tree – one only the holy father would eat from at the end of each year.
“Behold he that defy the rule of St. Benedict.” he announced.
They dragged the boy to St. Peter square; before the pope and onto the rostrum where he could be seen by all.
“Please leave him alone. He is my son. He has done nothing wrong” a brittle female voice pierced the crowd as she wriggled cursorily from amongst them.
She groveled at the pope’s feet clutching the end of his pallium as he took to the rostrum. The papal guards peeled her off of him, restraining her just beside her son.
“People of Rome, I bring you the reason our city is under siege” the pope started, before an uproar from the crowd interrupted him.
“Rid us of him for he has brought infirmity upon the eternal city. Burn him at the stake…Burn him at the stake” they chorused, totally disregarding her pleas to take his place.
BISMARK'S CAVE 